Sins of the father
by bwpbard
Summary: Takes place some years after season 2. It’s a combination of canon, future fic and probably a bit of AU, too.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Ashley wait… I …"

"No, it's okay."

"But I should have told you…"

"You don't own me anything, Spencer."

Black pools of pain and sadness. Spencer swallowed hard.

"Ash…"

"You deserve to be happy."

Ashley placed a soft kiss on Spencer's flushed skin and left.

And Spencer suddenly knew what real loneliness and heartbreak felt like.

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Ash. Are you coming home?"

"I'm sorry Ky, not this year."

"It sucks, Ash, you haven't been home for almost two years! I even miss you a little bit."

Ashley laughed - the small insignificant sound that Ashley called laughing these days.

"Maybe next year, Ky."

Kyla sighed.

"Promise me to be careful, Ky, do what Eve tells you to."

Kyla rolled her eyes. "Always the drama queen, sis that will never change."

* * *

"Happy birthday, Ash!"

"Thanks Ky."

"21… you're getting old, sis."

"But not wiser I assure you."

"Spencer sends her…."

"I have to go, Ky. Be careful."

Kyla threw the phone down. "Damn stubborn…."

* * *

"Ash, even your mother has been asking about you, everyone is… Madison too, for that matter. And Spencer is out of her…"

"Hallo to you too, dear sister. Happy Christmas."

"You drive me insane sometimes, Ashley. Completely out of my mind."

"Then you're not interested in a visit?"

"A visit?! You mean you're coming home? Home to visit?" Kyla almost screamed into the phone. "For real?!"

"Ryan and Eve are working on the details as we speak."

"For real?!"

Ashley laughed.

* * *

"Ky?"

"No, it's me Eve."

"Eve? What's going on?" Ashley didn't have to ask. She knew. "Oh God no… Please no…"


	2. Chapter 1

"Come on, Ashley. We're late as it is." Ryan looked at the devastated girl before her. In the last couple of days she had aged considerable and her mood was at an absolute zero – even if was never great to begin with. The girl had a beautiful smile but seldom used it.

Ashley moved like she was in a trance. She couldn't believe that her sister was gone. Dead. She hadn't stopped it from happening. She had failed. Again. And the punishment came immediately. Now she was totally alone in this world. No one to love or be loved by. The only person she had left was Ryan. A woman bought and paid for. A woman she paid to care.

A pathetic existence, right? And it was even more pathetic that she was concerned about the consequences for herself while she was about to bury her sister. A sister who didn't even had the privilege to feel alone and lonely anymore.

She was dead

Kyla was dead.

* * *

"Why don't you join them, Ashley?"

"No."

"This is your friends, your family."

"Ryan…"

Whoa. Terribly annoyed now. Ryan knew that she could only push so far before the girl would close up for good.

"Your mother is down there."

Ashley stiffened, her eyes turned cold.

Okay, full stop. Ryan knew she had blown it. They had never talked much about the girl's mother and maybe they should have, because it was clearly a touchy subject.

Suddenly Ashley's body shivered, eyes widening. Ryan looked down at the people gathering for Kyla's funeral. She followed the girl's stare and it landed on a cute blonde being comforted by an equally cute brunette. They were practically drowning each other in tears.

Right behind them sat Eve, crying softly. Ryan could see the heavy cloud of guilt threatening to consume her. Eve felt too much. That was her weakness.

"She's here." Ashley almost choked out the words.

Ah Spencer. The great love from the girl's past. Ryan sighed. Getting Ashley to talk about the people of her past had been difficult, even when Ryan managed to convince her it was necessary, but Spencer… pulling teeth out of the mouth of an angry crocodile were a preferably task, compared to get information out of Ashley about the former girlfriend.

The silent tears contorting Ashley's beautiful face, told the story of Spencer, better than any words could.

Spencer was down there. With Carmen. Madison and Glen seemed to be comforting each other – as the match made in heaven they probably were. And a sobbing Aiden with a slightly older brunette by his side. Paula and a heavily greying Arthur Carlin with serious face. Kyla's mother, completely devastated, surrounded by family.

Ashley was the only on missing and she preferred it that way. She couldn't face their questions, their accusations 'you never write, you never visit, you didn't really care about her, did you?'

"Kyla knew you loved her."

It was scary how Ryan was able to read her. Sometimes even more accurate than Spencer.

Spencer…

"Maybe you would feel better if you go down there and say hallo."

"No."

"Ashley, you can't keep running. You need people in your life, people you can trust."

"Trust?" Ashley muttered. "Who the hell can I trust down there? I don't know any of them anymore. And it's best it stays that way."

"Why?"

"You know why, Ryan! I don't want them involved."

"They are involved, whether you want them to be or not. They will always be connected to you and Kyla."

"Yes and Kyla's boyfriend died because of that."

Ryan nodded. "The authorities believe it is a coincidence. They won't act on it, Ashley, but you know we try to protect them the best way we can."

"And it helped Kyla exactly how?!" Ashley sniped. "Eve practically lived on top of her and to what use? These people," she gestured in the direction of her former friends and acquaintances. "They don't even have that. They don't even know about the potential danger they are in."

"We all agreed that it was for the best that they…"

"They are open for attack, Ryan. Frighteningly open."

"I know, but we do what we can to protect them. They are no reason to disturb their lives even further, but with that said, I really don't think that you staying away from them will make any difference for the level of potential danger they're in. I think you are making excuses."

Ashley paled. "Do I pay you to have an opinion on my personal life, Ryan?"

"You're scared."

"Kyla died you big log, of course I'm scared!"

"No, you're scared to face Spencer."

And Ashley didn't even have it in her to deny it.

Spencer…


	3. Chapter 2

"I can't believe she didn't show up. To her own sister's funeral!"

"Calm down, Spence." Carmen said softly.

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down. I am calm. Totally calm. If I was calmer I would be in a coma!"

"Oookay." Carmen decided to keep her mouth shut for the time being. Only Ashley could rattle Spencer like this and one could only wait for the emotional waves to thin out and disappear. Until next time.

"She probably has her reasons, Spence," Aiden said.

"Do any of you know where she disappeared to?" Aiden's girlfriend Karen asked. "And why?"

"Kyla probably knew," Madison sighed. "But she never told anyone."

"And the why if it is a long story," Aiden supplied quickly and cast a sidelong glance at Spencer. "I'll tell you later, honey."

Spencer became even paler and Carmen touched her arm in support.

Madison rolled her eyes at him. "There were probably other reasons than that. Ashley is a lot of things, but she's not stupid quitter. She's a fighter."

"Well, she certainly fought you every day," Glen grinned. "So hot."

Madison slapped him upside the head.

"I sure would like to meet her," Karen said. "They way all of you speak of her she sounds like quite a character."

"A character?" Madison was about to say a lot more but was stopped by a pointed look from Carmen.

"I mean," Karen continued. "She drops out of school, leaves this place and then she is well on her way to become a big star with screaming fans all over the place and then she stops making records, stop touring and finally she drops out of sight completely, never to be heard from again."

Aiden tried to stop his girlfriend from going further, but she ignored him. "It's a mystery isn't it? You were like her best friends, right?"

"Spencer was her girlfriend," Glen said without thinking.

The whole room turned several degrees colder and Spencer's eyes filled with renewed tears.

"Asshat!" Madison sneered. Glen was seconds and a quick move away from being smacked again.

"Sorry Spencer," he mumbled.

Carmen cleared her throat "Listen, this is not about Ashley. This is about Kyla. Let's join the others and give her on hell of a goodbye."

They all agreed. All of wanted to leave the ghost of Ashley behind them – at least for now.

Spencer stayed behind for a couple of minutes opened the window and to let her tears dry in the soft wind. Then she joined the others.


	4. Chapter 3

I'm on my way on vacation, so when this story isn't updated it doesn't mean that I have reached another writer's block. I promise to be back if you're still interested.

The first sentences of this chapter are stolen from one of my Buffy fics.

* * *

"Hi…." Spencer sat down cross-legged in front of the grave. "Hi Kyla," she repeated hesitantly and stopped herself from continuing with a cheerful 'how are you?' That was WAY too morbid. She lightly touched at the name on the headstone with her fingertips and cleared her throat.

"I miss you so much. I can't believe that you're gone. You were my best friend and my only link to Ashley. I'm selfish for thinking like this, I know that and I never talked to you about her, at least not about the things that really mattered. I never told you what happened before she left. Why she disappeared completely I don't know, but I think I'm responsible for her leaving in the first place. Please forgive me for that."

Spencer touched the letters again 'KYLA'. Her whole body shook in grief. She didn't hear the footsteps in the grass behind her.

And suddenly everything went black.

* * *

"Eve, it's Ryan."

"Hey."

Okay, not even a friendly greeting is allowed. Ryan sighed in frustration. "How are things going at your end?"

"As one could expect, I guess."

"Eve, damn it, talk to me. In a severe situation like this, can't we just forget the bullshit between us, try to work it out? We have a lot of things going on and…"

"Bullshit? You cheated on me, you lied about it and I left you. I failed to protect a client and she died. Could you please point out the bullshit for me?"

"If you would just listen… I didn't…"

"Ryan, please. I may be many things but I'm not stupid. You fucked a client that's how it is. So let's focus on the job, okay?"

Ryan sighed. 'Sighing is my main form of communication these days. Both of the women in my life dives me nuts.' "Okay, Eve. Has everything settled down after the funeral?"

"It seems like everything is somewhat back to normal. The grief is still there as it could be expected, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know. I don't think it's over. Your…" she practically spat the word out, "client... is the link to this mess, but I can't figure out how, and worst of all we have no clue whatsoever about who is behind the two murders and it's frustrating as hell!"

"The office has been working non-stop in all possible directions but they came up with nothing. Do you need help down there?"

This time Eve sighed. "Yeah, as long as we don't know who the next victim is going to be, I have a lot of people to keep an eye on. Backup would be nice.

"Okay, I will find the right people for you and send them down."

"Thanks."

"Eve…"

"No, Ry, I don't want to talk about it. Bye."

The use of the shortened version of her name, made her heart skip a bit. And then she did what seemed like the only thing she was good at these days… she sighed.

* * *

"Your long face tells me you spoke to Eve?" Ashley said. "You face looks like a block of stone."

And it did. The chiselled face with the ice blue eyes revealed everything while revealing nothing.

"Yep."

"Still no mercy for the wicked?"

"Ashley…"

"Sorry, Stretch. When you've been there and done that, it colour your perspective of things with a certain dark sense of humour."

Ryan… yep, she sighed.

"Eve is your Spencer, isn't she? A kind-hearted beautiful soul with the ability to love and forgive everyone and everybody, except ones like us." Ashley's tone was bitter. "I think there is something wrong with us, don't you? I mean, she forgave Aiden and now they are like the bestest of friends. Spencer and Carmen go on double dates with Aiden and Karen. A real happy functional group of friends. In the long run there is never room for the dysfunctional ones, is there? The fuckups like us. We make mistakes and we never seem to be able OR allowed to sort them out."

"At least I try to talk to Eve, Ashley. You don't know what Spencer's thinking, what she WAS thinking back then. You just ran away. Running isn't 'sorting out'."

"Yeah, I should have joined the Olympics instead of ending up here with you on my payroll. And by the way exactly HOW is talking helping you with Eve?"

Ryan shook her head. Ashley was in a mood. And Ashley in a mood was something you should steer clear of.

* * *

"Hi Carmen, where is Spencer?" Madison found Carmen at their favourite Starbuck. "I have tried to locate her all day."

Carmen shook her head in dismay. "I haven't talked to her since yesterday. She doesn't answer her phone and I'm worried about her. I haven't seen her like this since…"

"Since Ash left. I know, surprisingly enough I'm worried too. Who would have thought that I would end up being Spencer's friend?" She grinned. "Ashley would have just LOVED it… NOT."

"Ashley is not here." Carmen looked down at her hands. "Not in person anyway. In all other ways she's always present."

"Bitter much?"

"Do you blame me?"

"No, I guess not."

They sat in silence for a long time.

"So Madison, what's up with you and Glen?"

"Up?" Madison rolled her eyes. "There's certainly no 'up' between me and him. For some unfathomable reason we like to hang out in between lovers and that's all we do, hang out I mean."

"Right…"

"Don't make be turn bitch on you, Carmie girl. You won't like it. I can make a reprise of the Queen Bee anytime necessary."

They laughed and forgot to worry about Spencer for a second or two.

* * *

Aiden opened the door and found Karen outside. "I thought you said you were busy today?"

"I was, but I managed to work it out faster then expected, so what about offering me a cosy bed and some loving attention?"

Aiden laughed and pulled her inside.

Some time later when they snuggled in the afterglow of sex, Karen broke the unspoken rule of keeping the mention of Ashley to a minimum.

"I really don't understand why all of you are so hung up on this Ashley woman."

Aiden told himself not to react. "It complicated, Karen."

"That's so typical, Aid, you all refuse to talk about her. It makes her some sort of mythical monster living inside you and I want to know why."

"A lot of people were hurt back then, Karen, it's natural that no one wants to rehash all that again and again, please understand that and let it be."

"Were you hurt, too, it that's why you won't tell me?"

Aiden closed his eyes. Damn it, he didn't want to explain the whole Ashley-Spencer-Aiden-triangle or the mess it created in all of their lives – not to forget the hurt it brought others, too. Madison who really, when you cut though the façade and the fuck-ups, really loved him and in some twisted way still cared about Ashley, or Carmen, who tried to pick up the pieces of a broken-hearted Spencer and even Glen, who lost the last shred of connection with his sister after it all exploded. And Kyla, oh god Kyla…

* * *

"Why are we doing this? I think I need a reminder."

"It may be the only way to sort out this mess."

"Even if we hurt a LOT of people by doing it?

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"I hope you're right."

I hope so too…..


	5. Chapter 4

I'm back from my vacation. This is a short one to kick the story - and the writer back on track

* * *

"Ashley, you got another letter. I'm sorry." Ryan placed a white piece of paper with handwritten words in front of her.

"Fuck!" Ashley refused to touch it. Every word from that psychopath felt like an assault, like she was being raped and humiliated without any means to stop it. "Read it to me, Stretch."

"Dear Ashy Pooh. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Way too long. Now I will ask you a simple question: What is cute, blue eyed and blond?"

"Oh God," Ashley swallowed hard. "Please no…"

Ryan continued to read, her voice hard from controlling her emotions.

"Sister dear couldn't make you return. Maybe she can?"

Ashley looked pale and weak like she was about to faint. "We have to find this sick fucker, Ryan. We have to do something. This can't be happening. It just can't. Oh God…"

Ryan hugged the shaking woman tight. "I know, Ash, I know."

The sobbing continued for almost half an hour. Ryan sensed that the normally cool and controlled Ashley was nearing a breaking point. This was a direct attack on the vulnerable Achilles' heel that she had tried so hard to distance herself from. And from what Ryan had experienced – not with much luck.

"I want Eve to focus solely on this, Ryan. I want Eve to protect her day and night, immediately and directly."

"That means we have to tell Spencer what's going on, Ashley, it's the only way to protect her effectively."

Ashley nodded grimly. "It's obvious that whoever did this wants me to go back, so I have to go back. I will talk to…" she swallowed, "I will talk to Spencer myself."

"Ashley, you will open yourself up to this person. You are the end goal, the main target, it would be easier if you..."

"I don't care. I will do anything to keep Spencer alive and well.

* * *

"Ryan? It's Eve."

"Hi Eve, I was about to call you. The client wants you to…"

"Ryan…"

"Something happened." Ryan's skin turned cold.

"Spencer was attacked. This morning at the cemetery."

"Shit! Is she okay?"

"Bruised, dizzy and chocked, but otherwise she seems fine. The hospital is keeping her for a couple of days just to be sure."

"I was afraid of this, Eve, Ashley got another letter today. The letter made a threat to harm Spencer if Ashley didn't return."

"The attack seems like an additional warning of sorts. Spencer could easily have been killed if that was the intention." Eve fumbled for a moment and then found was she was looking for. "Listen to this: 'Come back, Pooh, come back.' It was written on Spencer's chest and stomach. Isn't Pooh what the psycho calls the client?"

"Yeah, Ashy Pooh. Fuck, Ashley is going to freak."

"You have to control her, Ryan. We have to think this through, make plans. We can't have her going nuts all over the place."

"I know, Eve, I know. I called you to tell you that she wants you to protect Spencer officially."

Eve sighed. "It's going to make it a lot easier. If Spencer agrees that is. And at least the police will be involved now. Hopefully they can be of some help, even if I doubt it."

"Ashley wants to return."

"To LA?"

"Of course."

"Damn, it will make things even more difficult to handle."

"But we will get a chance to talk, fix this rift between us. I really want…"

"Stop it, Ryan. I don't want to talk about it. When are you coming?"

"Today."


	6. Chapter 5

Eve met them at the airport. 

"Who is keeping an eye on Spencer?!" Ashley looked drawn and tired. The beautiful brown eyes red and swollen from crying too hard.

"It's under control," Eve said. "You don't have to worry. Ashley. I assure you that the whole team is doing its best. Nothing is going to happen to her."

"Not to worry, she says." Ashley rolled her eyes at Ryan.

"Hi, Eve. Good to see you," Ryan said hesitantly, unsure how her former lover would react to their first meeting after the break-up.

The answer to that question came promptly. Eve simply ignored her. "Follow me, Ashley. I have a car outside waiting for us. We are allowed to visit Spencer the next couple of hours."

Ryan studied the blonde woman before she turned and started walking. The normally expressive green eyes were silent and cool; she couldn't read any emotions in them, other than sympathy for Ashley. Ryan was going to be treated as the cheating lover; fair enough it was the truth after all, and as long as Eve continued to be polite and professional with Ashley she didn't have the right to protest. And Ryan had no doubt that Eve would handle everything with the client in her usual compassionate way.

Ryan felt her throat close up. Not at all the crying type she shook the emotions away and caught up with the two women.

"Are you okay?" Gently Ryan took Ashley's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"I don't think okay is even in my vocabulary anymore, Stretch." Ashley shook her head. "I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be ready. I'm going to torpedo her life, change it to something completely different." She closed her eyes. "And see how well it went the last time I did that."

"This situation is not of your doing, Ash, you have no control over the psychopath crashing your lives, and Spencer will understand that, she's a reasonable and intelligent woman. And as for you past… You were teenagers. The world is supposed to tilt every other minute and make different turns. It's a part of the process of growing up."

"I know that, but I hurt her so much. I…"

"Ash, you're grownups now. You can, so to speak, move past the past and be friends again. You were friends before everything else, right?"

Ashley laughed without much humour. "One major problem with that, Stretch. I still love her. I haven't moved on from a lovesick teenager to better and more adult things like she has. I'm still trapped in the damn past! And now she's in danger because of me. Yeah baby, she's going to absolutely love welcoming me back in her life!"

Ryan coughed uncomfortably. "You know she won't blame you. Spencer is a wonderful woman, Ashley, compassionate and understanding. I'm sure she will…"

Ashley shook her head. "Of course she will. I have no doubt about that, but she shouldn't have to deal with this, with me. She deserves to be happy."

Eve quietly entered the room and took in the scene before her.

Ashley was crying now. Heavy desperate sobs wrecked her small frame. Ryan held her close and softly kissed the trembling lips. "It's going to be okay, I know it will. We'll work it out, Ash, find a way. I promise."

Ryan sensed a presence in the room and jolted slightly when Eve's green eyes bore into hers. 'Still fucking the client, eh?' they accused.

Ryan felt sick, stomach tied in an anxious bow. And then she continued to comfort the fragile woman breaking down in her arms.

* * *

They both watched the door like they prepared for it to jump right for their jugulars. Ashley's face was so pale that it almost blended into the white-grey hospital walls.

It was Ryan who finally opened the door, careful not to make too much noise in case the patient inside the room was sleeping.

"You'll be out of here in no time, Spence," a husky voice said.

"Yeah, when the doctors is assured that I won't faint, puke or both at the same time all over the place."

"Have the police been here again?"

"They must really think I'm brain damaged or something. They keep asking me the same questions over and over and over again. They can't seem to grasp that I didn't see or hear anything. That I was unconscious most of the time."

"Having watched zillions of Cop shows haven't taught you a damn thing, has it Spence?"

Spencer laughed, but stopped abruptly. "Carm, please don't make me laugh anymore."

Carmen giggled. "Oh baby, your poor, poor head." A sound of kissing was heard.

"I can't do this," Ashley whispered brokenly. And before Ryan could even contemplate to utter a word she was gone.


	7. Chapter 6

"Are you SURE you saw her, Glen. It's not even a tiny bit funny if it's a joke." 

"Oh Spencer I've learned my lesson one to many times; I know Ashley is a 'no joke zone', but I can tell you for sure that it was Ashley walking out of here."

"Did you see that Amazonian piece of muscle she was hanging on to?" Karen practically gushed. "Wow, what a woman. This Ashley certainly has a great taste in girlfriends."

"Are you sure you're straight?" Madison said with irritation clear in her voice.

Aiden flinched.

"Her… girlfriend?" Spencer sounded breathy and weak and Madison gave Karen her famous 'I want to squash you like the annoying bug you are'- eyes.

Aiden stepped protectively in front of his girlfriend. "We don't know who she was. They could be friends."

Karen snorted.

"Yeah, Ashley always got a lot of those," Glen grinned – and got himself a slap upside the head from Madison.

Spencer moved nervously under the covers and Carmen gently took her hand to calm her down. "She'll be back, Spence and then you'll know why she's here."

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispered.

Carmen shook her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Spence. Nothing."

A knock on the made everybody jump.

"God!"

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

"Damn it!"

The door opened and a shorthaired blonde with clear grass green eyes entered.

"Hi, I'm Eve Conner, Sword and Sais Security, I would like to speak with you Miss Carlin. Alone."

* * *

"She knows?"

"Yes, Ashley, she knows. Eve told her what we could without scaring her unnecessarily.

"How did she take it? How was she? Is she going to be okay? Is she…"

"She's fine, Ashley. All her friends were there and she's doing fine."

"I chickened out, Ryan. I should have been the one. I should have been the one to tell her. I reversed backto Ashley the coward. Ashley 'the Spencer-hurting, always running from her problems'– coward. Damn it!"

"Talk to her then. I can make arrangements for you, so you don't have to deal with parents and friends. I think you'll feel better if you deal with it now. Rather sooner than later."

Ashley thought about the last time she and Spencer have seen each other face to face. It was weeks after Aiden had dumped her and it was right after Ashley began fearing that Carmen was a serious competition and not just a convenient distraction for Spencer.

Everybody was yapping about the new hot 'lesbo-coupling' but Ashley tried to ignore it the best she could.

Spencer had stopped phoning her and when Ashley called, all she got was monosyllabic answers and uncomfortable silences. Spencer had shut her out.

Why now, she wondered. Even for the short period she was dating Aiden, or whatever it was they did, Spencer had tried to maintain some sort of contact with her. They talked, even smiled at each other now and then – Ashley lived for those smiles. Now there was nothing

Maybe Carmen was really the answer to the why now? Spencer was moving on and was planning to leave every part of Ashley, friend and lover – okay former lover – behind.

It was so unlike Spencer not to say something, warn her about… all this. Spencer was always so gentle and considerate. It was painful to follow the possible romance between Spencer and Carmen through the grapevine – not knowing what was real or not.

It hurt. It hurt so much that she couldn't find words to describe it. And she couldn't blame anyone but herself.

And then the "confrontations" began.

Glen: "She's better off without you!"

Aiden: "You're not capable of a serious relationship. Spencer deserves that!"

Madison: "Don't mess with her again!"

Glen: "Leave her alone! She's happy now!"

Chelsea: "Let her be happy, Ashley."

Aiden: "Carmen treats her well. Why screw it up for her? She doesn't need your bullshit."

Glen: "She's never been this happy. Leave her alone."

Madison: "Leave her alone or I'll squash you like a bug."

Kyla: "I'm so, so sorry…"

And yet she still hoped. She hoped that there was still hope for them. That Spencer would talk to her, explain what was going on, and maybe even give her a chance to do better, BE better.

But of course that didn't happen.

Instead she had walked in on Spencer and Carmen having the 'I maybe think I'm in love with you possibly'- talk. Why they had it at a public place wasn't clear, but they were having it.

Ashley's heart threatened to shatter in more pieces than it already was and the pain was devastating when she had to watch them kiss. Looking way to cute and adorable doing so.

She knew that there was only one thing she could do. Apparently running was still the only option she had.

And then Spencer had seen her.

"Ashley wait… I …"

"No, it's okay."

"But I should have told you…"

"You don't own me anything, Spencer."

Ashley knew she had to let go. For Spencer's sake. She couldn't make this difficult for her.

"Ash…"

"You deserve to be happy."

Ashley placed a soft kiss on Spencer's flushed skin and left.

And Ashley now knew what real heartbreak felt like.


	8. Chapter 7

"Let me down you big stupid log!" Ashley shrieked from her uncomfortable position on Ryan's shoulders. "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"You two are going to talk, whether you dare to or not."

"And you're going to carry me to her like this? Like a cavewoman with no manner what so ever!"

"When you act like a petulant child, I'll treat you like one."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "As if! You would never treat a child like you do me. You're too damn softhearted. They'll bat their cute little eyes at you and you'll go down like a house of cards. Be thankful I never bat MY beauties at you!"

Ryan grinned and slapped her shapely ass lightly.

"Hey, cavewoman, I'm your boss you know. You should treat me with respect. I'm certain it's in the manual somewhere."

Ryan ignored her and went directly for the door.

"Is this how you treat all your clients?" Ashley stretched a bit and slapped Ryan hard on the ass, as the door opened.

"I would certainly hope not." Two blonde women watched them with two sets of unreadable eyes.

But Ryan wasn't fooled. What went on behind those green respectively blue eyes didn't bode well for either her or Ashley.

"Spencer…" Ashley whispered. And promptly fainted.

* * *

Ashley slowly opened slowly. Where was she? Did she fall asleep somewhere… drunk? No she hadn't been drinking for years.' Eyes closed again. Her faithful watcher had to be here somewhere, she always was, whether Ashley wanted her to be or not. Ryan could probably tell her what was going on.

"Ryan?" she croaked out.

"No, I'm sorry. Your girlfriend is outside. Do you want me to get her?"

"Huh? Girl..girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I'm the only one in here now. I'm sorry."

"Spen..spencer?" Ashley's face paled again and Spencer threw her a worried frown.

"Please don't make fainting a habit every time you see me. It could give a girl some heavy complexes."

"For some it would be regarded as a compliment." Ashley sounded more like herself now as the world had stopped spinning. All she could focus on was Spencer.

"Shall I get…Ryan? That's her name, right?"

"No, please stay. Please…"

"So," Spencer hesitated. "We got ourselves into a crazy kind of mess, huh? Violent stalker and all."

"I got YOU into this. The violent stalker is after me, not you. I'm so so sorry."

Spencer made a calming gesture. "It's not your fault, you're the victim here." She paused and swallowed threatening tears. "They say that he killed Kyla."

Ashley covered her eyes. "He wanted my attention. He wanted me to take him seriously. I should have done so long ago. I got Kyla killed."

"Ashley, no. You mustn't think like that. Please don't blame yourself for a psychopath's sick and unpredictable ways. You can't live with those thoughts hanging over you."

Ashley felt like something or someone heavy had found a comfortable seat on her chest. She was hardly able to breath. It was so typical for Spencer to care, not blame. Before everything went to hell Spencer had always done her outmost to make Ashley feel better, even when she should have hated or despised her instead.

Carmen was the luckiest woman on the planet!

"Where is… where is …. Carmen?"

"Carmen? At work probably. Why?"

Ashley shrugged. She hated being this uncomfortable in Spencer's presence. She hated how uncomfortable Spencer seemed. Ryan said they should talk, but Ashley didn't know where to begin. She didn't know if Spencer was even interested.

"I know we have a lot to talk about, Ash...Ashley, but do you think we can, maybe, become friends again. Deal with all of this as friends?"

Friends? It was more than Ashley had hoped for, but she wasn't sure that she could deal with friendship, deal with becoming a part of Spencer's friends and family again. And deal with Spencer and Carmen…

"Ashley?"

Ashley nodded. "I would like to try."

Spencer's smile could have melted all the icebergs in Greenland.

* * *

"I knew you would be back for her. I knew it. Now it's just a matter of time and then you'll be gone too. Both of you will be gone and I can finally BE… I can finally be the only one, the important one. I can reclaim what should have been mine in the first place. Finally…" 


End file.
